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   | I believe that God intended sex to be shared by a man and woman who love each other, have made a commitment to their relationship and accept responsibility to make that relationship a priority for the rest of their lives. God wants to use that relationship to make them one flesh, joined together for eternity. Sex in any other context is not in God's plan but is fashioned after the worlds way which is surface oriented and shallow to satisfy physical lusts, insecurity and ego fears. Sexual feelings should be carefully guarded, to be shared between them only in a deep and intimate way because this energy is the only thing they have between them that makes their relationship truly unique. Everything else in their lives they can share with others. Intimate affections with family and friends can be deeply fulfilling but entering sex into these relationships defiles and ruins them. Inappropriate sexual connections need to be healed and brought back into alignment so people in this situation can continue to grow spiritually toward true maturity and fullness. Compassion instead of judgment always begins a healing of the soul. A committed relationship can grow into a deeper sharing because the longer two people are together and the more life experiences they share, trust is established between them. This developing trust creates a place of safety for them to become continually more surrendered and vulnerable to each other. Unfaithfulness dissolves the trust and they have to start over trying to renew what was already established. It takes two mature people to commit to the responsibility of a faithful and growing relationship. It will take all of their desire, passion and resolution to establish and maintain the growth between them into a deeper, spiritual path into true fulfillment. When two people truly love, passionately adore each other, and stay faithful to the love they share, this creates an overflow of love in their lives that touches everyone close to them and everyone they meet. The world is dying for this kind of love. The world is dying for truth, values, commitment, responsibility and faithfulness. It is crying out for something pure and undefiled by selfishness and grasping. In a truly committed relationship, two people respect, honor and care for each others needs. If it blesses my sweetheart, it blesses me. If it hurts them, it hurts me. I am not afraid to go ahead and just love, I don't have to hold back or not receive for any reason. I don't have to be critical or seach for something that might be wrong in their motivations or actions. I trust enough to just love them and they are the same. We have a track record that shows commitment to working out trust and accord through every difficulty and problem. It takes maturity to attain this kind of closeness and trust. It won't happen when there are unresolved personality problems in the individuals. This is why it is said that people need to go through their own personal spiritual path of growth before they can really connect positively with someone else. Unless their patterns of insecurity and immaturity are acknowledged and dealt with, they will bring these problems into any relationship they have and their thoughts and actions will be selfishly oriented to get their own needs met. Surrendering ourselves to God allows Him to clean us up and prepare us for all the good things He's always wanted us to have. We have to submit our will to Him because it's the only way we can overcome selfishness and self-aggrandizement. We can't go into a relationship with this self centered paradigm and expect anything from it but plenty of frustration and disappointment. A committed, responsible monogamous relationship is the only place to learn to surrender to another human being entirely in every aspect of our humanity. It is a place to learn to serve, please and honor another as a sacred act. Everything we do becomes an offering instead of a demand. All the little daily acts of kindness or performance of simple chores with a glad heart blesses and affirms the other. We aren't ready for this kind of responsibility and commitment until we have grown in a way that acknowledges our personal responsibility and commitment to ourselves and others. We realize the world is a place we live in and share with other human beings and we see ourselves as a part of the whole. We need a shift in our thinking toward the good of the other rather than self seeking and competition. When we can live from the truth in our heart with no excuses and meet others on an equal basis with no guilt or no blame, letting them be who they are and resting in who we are, even though we realize we are all imperfect, we are ready for the real thing. |
